1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Really? Really God? Somtimes I just squirm when I hear this verse b/c I get so frustrated. I mean there is fear in love . . . I mean I get scared all the time in "love". I get scared when I share things and the reciever does not understand when I am saying totally and I don't feel totally accepted and loved like I (notice the word I) want.
Sometimes I get afraid because I get completely convinced that the one who seems to care the mose is the one who may indeed hurt me the most.
Then, though I have to remember that these are my fears indeed and God is calling us to so much more that it is not our love that is perfect, but it is his love that is perfect! We are already loved so perfectly loved by Him.
So knowing that he loves us perfectly . . .He does not let go of us, he listens to all of our worries, he understands us completly, he does not fail us, and on and on we have a great example what perfect love looks like.
The bottom line is that I am called to not be loved by another human perfectly, but to try to love like God perfectly . . . and not just in Love Relationships, but in all realationships.
It doesn't mean . . . don't have needs . . . give so much and act like a martry all the time and then become so run down in the midst that will not really be beneficial, but through the power of Christ and with your perfect relationship with Him . . .love differently. Putting the other person's needs above your own.
So . . . I write this today b/c this is where I am and what I am processing and more of who I want to become.
There is no Fear in Love . . .
Friday, February 8, 2008
Monday, May 21, 2007
Do you really believe?
"Heal me oh Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise." Jeremiah 17:14.
Do you really believe that God is capable of healing you? Do you really believe that God is the one to praise? I ask these questions as a means of checking my own heart. I mean really I know that I say that I believe this . . . and I would tell anyone else that, but am I really believing that at the core of my heart? Am I living my life expecting THE ONE to heal me?
I put all this out there because . . . I need to tell you something. . . guess what . . .I'm broken. I have hurts and they are not fun. I believe though though that if we are all honest before the Lord that we all have hurts. They look different for each person. Some are deep-rooted while other hurts may just be surface level -- but guess what? God can heal them all and there is healing available in Him.
Do you believe this verse in Jeremiah . . . "Heal me oh Lord and I will be healed." I love the word healed. There is such a permanence to it. It does not say I will feel better or that I will temporarily have relief. The Lord wants to heal the hearts of the hurting. That is beautiful.
By Believing in the One True God . . .we can find healing.
Do you really believe that God is capable of healing you? Do you really believe that God is the one to praise? I ask these questions as a means of checking my own heart. I mean really I know that I say that I believe this . . . and I would tell anyone else that, but am I really believing that at the core of my heart? Am I living my life expecting THE ONE to heal me?
I put all this out there because . . . I need to tell you something. . . guess what . . .I'm broken. I have hurts and they are not fun. I believe though though that if we are all honest before the Lord that we all have hurts. They look different for each person. Some are deep-rooted while other hurts may just be surface level -- but guess what? God can heal them all and there is healing available in Him.
Do you believe this verse in Jeremiah . . . "Heal me oh Lord and I will be healed." I love the word healed. There is such a permanence to it. It does not say I will feel better or that I will temporarily have relief. The Lord wants to heal the hearts of the hurting. That is beautiful.
By Believing in the One True God . . .we can find healing.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Resting in the Lord
Okay so finals are over . . . the semester has come to a close and I feel a weight lifted off of me. Life is still busy, but not quite so crazy. I only have a few days left at my practicum site as well.
I have been thinking though that I want to rest well right now. Not just sleep more (which I do want to do) or not just develop a general attitude of laziness. I want to really rest in the Lord. I was at this worship service on Friday night and one of the girls shared that she was so physically exhausted . . . and it was hard to get there, but she knew that she needed more than sleep. She knew that she needed to sit in the Lord's presence. I feel that way right now. I feel like my time with the Lord recently has been way too much of check that box kind of thing. Just staring at the pages of a Bible does not produce heart change . . . and I've been lacking in devotion with the Lord . . . at the same time though I know that the Lord has been with me and has used even those rote times with him to encourage me. So there is value in just doing it at times.
I just believe that the Lord wants more from my heart. He always does. He always wants all of our hearts. He wants all of us all of the time. Not because He is selfish or because He is jealous, but because he LOVES us dearly. Isn't that amazing?
So with all of this in mind, I want to spend just this next season just really resting in the Lord. So . . . I'm searching for what that is right now. I know that it means that I'm still seeking to glorify Him with everything I do (Deut 11:13). I also know that I don't want to cease in proclaiming his TRUTH (Acts 5:52). Overall, in a period of rest . . . I'm still on mission for Him.
So . . . every time though that I think rest, I think JOSHUA. This book has a theme of rest. Rest comes up over and over. In chapter 1 verse 13, Joshua said "Remember the command that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: 'The LORD your God is giving you rest and has granted you this land." Then after the Israelites receive their land . . . in Joshua 21:44a "The LORD gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their forefathers."
From these verses it seems to me that the Lord gives rest. So, I am not completely sure what this time of rest that He is giving me is going to look liked, but I know three things:
1. I am still on mission
2. Rest is given by Him
3. I'll keep you posted
I have been thinking though that I want to rest well right now. Not just sleep more (which I do want to do) or not just develop a general attitude of laziness. I want to really rest in the Lord. I was at this worship service on Friday night and one of the girls shared that she was so physically exhausted . . . and it was hard to get there, but she knew that she needed more than sleep. She knew that she needed to sit in the Lord's presence. I feel that way right now. I feel like my time with the Lord recently has been way too much of check that box kind of thing. Just staring at the pages of a Bible does not produce heart change . . . and I've been lacking in devotion with the Lord . . . at the same time though I know that the Lord has been with me and has used even those rote times with him to encourage me. So there is value in just doing it at times.
I just believe that the Lord wants more from my heart. He always does. He always wants all of our hearts. He wants all of us all of the time. Not because He is selfish or because He is jealous, but because he LOVES us dearly. Isn't that amazing?
So with all of this in mind, I want to spend just this next season just really resting in the Lord. So . . . I'm searching for what that is right now. I know that it means that I'm still seeking to glorify Him with everything I do (Deut 11:13). I also know that I don't want to cease in proclaiming his TRUTH (Acts 5:52). Overall, in a period of rest . . . I'm still on mission for Him.
So . . . every time though that I think rest, I think JOSHUA. This book has a theme of rest. Rest comes up over and over. In chapter 1 verse 13, Joshua said "Remember the command that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: 'The LORD your God is giving you rest and has granted you this land." Then after the Israelites receive their land . . . in Joshua 21:44a "The LORD gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their forefathers."
From these verses it seems to me that the Lord gives rest. So, I am not completely sure what this time of rest that He is giving me is going to look liked, but I know three things:
1. I am still on mission
2. Rest is given by Him
3. I'll keep you posted
Friday, April 27, 2007
Counseling . . . ?@?@?@!!!!
So . . . I am just in the middle of a lot of wrestling with where in the world I want to go with counseling. Not that I have to determine my future right now (cause God's in control of that anyway), but what are my next step's . . . and what direction do I want to head????
This semester I have worked in a secular enviorment and it has been HARD not to have opportunities to talk abotu Christ. To not get to share about Him unless He was spoken of first. Then this week at the very end of the semester . . . I had two opportunities back to back to talk about Him, his church, and his Word . . . Crazy!
I think at the end the day, I really would love to be working in a place where the name of Jesus is often not heard. If given the opportunity, I would like to be in that kind of enviroment, but man it is hard!!! I went for months w/o the opportunity speak of Him! It is exhausting and feels hopeless . . . but at the same time I do believe that it is a part of where God has my heart. I just cannot seem to get past it.
I just do not see myself working in a church. I think somedays that it would be easier . . .but the bottom line is . . . my heart is not there.
I wonder what opportunities exist to work to work with the lost, but the name of Christ is allowed to be shared. I think I would fit there really well.
If you have any more thoughts on this let me know. I feel like I am all over the map on this and will probably continue bloogging on the subject so Do expect to see this topic again!
This semester I have worked in a secular enviorment and it has been HARD not to have opportunities to talk abotu Christ. To not get to share about Him unless He was spoken of first. Then this week at the very end of the semester . . . I had two opportunities back to back to talk about Him, his church, and his Word . . . Crazy!
I think at the end the day, I really would love to be working in a place where the name of Jesus is often not heard. If given the opportunity, I would like to be in that kind of enviroment, but man it is hard!!! I went for months w/o the opportunity speak of Him! It is exhausting and feels hopeless . . . but at the same time I do believe that it is a part of where God has my heart. I just cannot seem to get past it.
I just do not see myself working in a church. I think somedays that it would be easier . . .but the bottom line is . . . my heart is not there.
I wonder what opportunities exist to work to work with the lost, but the name of Christ is allowed to be shared. I think I would fit there really well.
If you have any more thoughts on this let me know. I feel like I am all over the map on this and will probably continue bloogging on the subject so Do expect to see this topic again!
Feeling a little bit like a Jacob . . .
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Numbers 8
At first glance I read Numbers 8 and all I can think of is RULES, RULES, RULES on what it looks like to be "set apart" apart as a Levite and how now it is so great b/c it doesn't work that way.
Then . . . you think deeper and well here you go. Yes, God set up all of this standards initially on how to purify the Levites and how they were to live in order to "set apart", and that was under the Old Covenant and now we are under the New Covenant . . . BUT. . . but really it seems to me that God showed an AMAZING amount of grace in proving the standards in which "set apart" the Levites. He provided a way to show Himself. It may not have been easy, but it was clear.
Today... things look a little different, our instructions are not so clear as to how to be "set apart" under the New Covenat in this culture. . . but God's word does remain true and should be applied to life in community so we can help each other to be SET APART.
Press on!
Then . . . you think deeper and well here you go. Yes, God set up all of this standards initially on how to purify the Levites and how they were to live in order to "set apart", and that was under the Old Covenant and now we are under the New Covenant . . . BUT. . . but really it seems to me that God showed an AMAZING amount of grace in proving the standards in which "set apart" the Levites. He provided a way to show Himself. It may not have been easy, but it was clear.
Today... things look a little different, our instructions are not so clear as to how to be "set apart" under the New Covenat in this culture. . . but God's word does remain true and should be applied to life in community so we can help each other to be SET APART.
Press on!
You Might Ask . . . Where Have I been?
Where have I been?
So . . . it has been a long time since I have written. I’m sure sorry about that. I’ve missed posting!! I’ve had some computer problems and then just got out of the habit of it. Not to mention been pretty busy! I am back though! However. . . I’m going to start posting at this new site! I have brought all my old journals over to this new site.
Why?
Well . . . while writing on the Journey has been such a blessing, but there are other topics that I want to write on in the Blog world and possibly get some feed back on. In order to accomplisht this, I’m going to start a blog that is not quite so narrow. You can still expect to find some of the old journey posts intermingled throughout the blog.
Also, the site that I have been using is not quite so user friendly. I’d like to add some pictures and such to my blog without having to start a new solar system in order to do so.
Happy Blogging.
So . . . it has been a long time since I have written. I’m sure sorry about that. I’ve missed posting!! I’ve had some computer problems and then just got out of the habit of it. Not to mention been pretty busy! I am back though! However. . . I’m going to start posting at this new site! I have brought all my old journals over to this new site.
Why?
Well . . . while writing on the Journey has been such a blessing, but there are other topics that I want to write on in the Blog world and possibly get some feed back on. In order to accomplisht this, I’m going to start a blog that is not quite so narrow. You can still expect to find some of the old journey posts intermingled throughout the blog.
Also, the site that I have been using is not quite so user friendly. I’d like to add some pictures and such to my blog without having to start a new solar system in order to do so.
Happy Blogging.
Exodus 16
Sunday, March 18, 2007, 6:48:11 PM
I'm going to warn you before you read this, I have a a lot to say . . and while it comes from my reading of Exodus 16 . . . it is a bit more personal today.Exodus 16 deal with the Lord's provision of food for the Israelites. The Israelites are commanded to rest on the 7th day to rest because God is going to provide enough Manna on the 6th day for the 6th and 7th days of each week. He wants them to take a break. He has their best interests at heart, but they do not see it. They do not trust that the Lord is going to provide for all of their needs. God's commandment for them is based out of LOVE for them, because HE knows what is best for them. This makes me think of SO many things right now, the first one being REST Literally. I'll be honest . . . I just feel tired right now. I mean . . . I am sleeping great, my morning coffee is still great (Cafe Bustello . . . AMAZING), but circumstantially, I am very tired, I just feel depleted. This isn't some long term thing . . . just over the last few days.My question is what does rest look like right now? I've tried to be VERY purposefull in spending extra time with the LORD and taking a little more down time. I LOVE being around people, but with some family circumstances that I have going on . . . I do feel like I have needed more time to myself. So you are like . . . okay . . . Kim what is the problem . . . take that REST????!?! Well, the problem is that I don't like it. I don't really like the slowing down from things. I mean I do . . . b/c I feel like I need to . . . but I DO not like missing OUT on things. Can you relate to this?? However, after reading Exodus 16, I feel like I'm a grumbling Isralite who isn't willing to rest on the 7th day!! I don't want to do that! I don't want to be a grumbler! I feel like I just need to trust that the Lord has my best interests at heart and trust His provision for me.So, for me, it is a decision by decision thing . . . there is no actual 7th day. It is more of a decision by decision thing . . . relying on God in each . . . AND DEFINITELY SPENDING TIME IN HIS WORD!So, see . . . a bit more personal here . . . you may get more of this in the days to come . . . well see.
I'm going to warn you before you read this, I have a a lot to say . . and while it comes from my reading of Exodus 16 . . . it is a bit more personal today.Exodus 16 deal with the Lord's provision of food for the Israelites. The Israelites are commanded to rest on the 7th day to rest because God is going to provide enough Manna on the 6th day for the 6th and 7th days of each week. He wants them to take a break. He has their best interests at heart, but they do not see it. They do not trust that the Lord is going to provide for all of their needs. God's commandment for them is based out of LOVE for them, because HE knows what is best for them. This makes me think of SO many things right now, the first one being REST Literally. I'll be honest . . . I just feel tired right now. I mean . . . I am sleeping great, my morning coffee is still great (Cafe Bustello . . . AMAZING), but circumstantially, I am very tired, I just feel depleted. This isn't some long term thing . . . just over the last few days.My question is what does rest look like right now? I've tried to be VERY purposefull in spending extra time with the LORD and taking a little more down time. I LOVE being around people, but with some family circumstances that I have going on . . . I do feel like I have needed more time to myself. So you are like . . . okay . . . Kim what is the problem . . . take that REST????!?! Well, the problem is that I don't like it. I don't really like the slowing down from things. I mean I do . . . b/c I feel like I need to . . . but I DO not like missing OUT on things. Can you relate to this?? However, after reading Exodus 16, I feel like I'm a grumbling Isralite who isn't willing to rest on the 7th day!! I don't want to do that! I don't want to be a grumbler! I feel like I just need to trust that the Lord has my best interests at heart and trust His provision for me.So, for me, it is a decision by decision thing . . . there is no actual 7th day. It is more of a decision by decision thing . . . relying on God in each . . . AND DEFINITELY SPENDING TIME IN HIS WORD!So, see . . . a bit more personal here . . . you may get more of this in the days to come . . . well see.
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