Counseling . . . ?@?@?@!!!!

So . . . I am just in the middle of a lot of wrestling with where in the world I want to go with counseling. Not that I have to determine my future right now (cause God's in control of that anyway), but what are my next step's . . . and what direction do I want to head????

This semester I have worked in a secular enviorment and it has been HARD not to have opportunities to talk abotu Christ. To not get to share about Him unless He was spoken of first. Then this week at the very end of the semester . . . I had two opportunities back to back to talk about Him, his church, and his Word . . . Crazy!

I think at the end the day, I really would love to be working in a place where the name of Jesus is often not heard. If given the opportunity, I would like to be in that kind of enviroment, but man it is hard!!! I went for months w/o the opportunity speak of Him! It is exhausting and feels hopeless . . . but at the same time I do believe that it is a part of where God has my heart. I just cannot seem to get past it.

I just do not see myself working in a church. I think somedays that it would be easier . . .but the bottom line is . . . my heart is not there.

I wonder what opportunities exist to work to work with the lost, but the name of Christ is allowed to be shared. I think I would fit there really well.

If you have any more thoughts on this let me know. I feel like I am all over the map on this and will probably continue bloogging on the subject so Do expect to see this topic again!

Feeling a little bit like a Jacob . . .

Numbers 8

At first glance I read Numbers 8 and all I can think of is RULES, RULES, RULES on what it looks like to be "set apart" apart as a Levite and how now it is so great b/c it doesn't work that way.

Then . . . you think deeper and well here you go. Yes, God set up all of this standards initially on how to purify the Levites and how they were to live in order to "set apart", and that was under the Old Covenant and now we are under the New Covenant . . . BUT. . . but really it seems to me that God showed an AMAZING amount of grace in proving the standards in which "set apart" the Levites. He provided a way to show Himself. It may not have been easy, but it was clear.

Today... things look a little different, our instructions are not so clear as to how to be "set apart" under the New Covenat in this culture. . . but God's word does remain true and should be applied to life in community so we can help each other to be SET APART.

Press on!

You Might Ask . . . Where Have I been?

Where have I been?

So . . . it has been a long time since I have written. I’m sure sorry about that. I’ve missed posting!! I’ve had some computer problems and then just got out of the habit of it. Not to mention been pretty busy! I am back though! However. . . I’m going to start posting at this new site! I have brought all my old journals over to this new site.

Why?

Well . . . while writing on the Journey has been such a blessing, but there are other topics that I want to write on in the Blog world and possibly get some feed back on. In order to accomplisht this, I’m going to start a blog that is not quite so narrow. You can still expect to find some of the old journey posts intermingled throughout the blog.

Also, the site that I have been using is not quite so user friendly. I’d like to add some pictures and such to my blog without having to start a new solar system in order to do so.

Happy Blogging.

Exodus 16

Sunday, March 18, 2007, 6:48:11 PM

I'm going to warn you before you read this, I have a a lot to say . . and while it comes from my reading of Exodus 16 . . . it is a bit more personal today.Exodus 16 deal with the Lord's provision of food for the Israelites. The Israelites are commanded to rest on the 7th day to rest because God is going to provide enough Manna on the 6th day for the 6th and 7th days of each week. He wants them to take a break. He has their best interests at heart, but they do not see it. They do not trust that the Lord is going to provide for all of their needs. God's commandment for them is based out of LOVE for them, because HE knows what is best for them. This makes me think of SO many things right now, the first one being REST Literally. I'll be honest . . . I just feel tired right now. I mean . . . I am sleeping great, my morning coffee is still great (Cafe Bustello . . . AMAZING), but circumstantially, I am very tired, I just feel depleted. This isn't some long term thing . . . just over the last few days.My question is what does rest look like right now? I've tried to be VERY purposefull in spending extra time with the LORD and taking a little more down time. I LOVE being around people, but with some family circumstances that I have going on . . . I do feel like I have needed more time to myself. So you are like . . . okay . . . Kim what is the problem . . . take that REST????!?! Well, the problem is that I don't like it. I don't really like the slowing down from things. I mean I do . . . b/c I feel like I need to . . . but I DO not like missing OUT on things. Can you relate to this?? However, after reading Exodus 16, I feel like I'm a grumbling Isralite who isn't willing to rest on the 7th day!! I don't want to do that! I don't want to be a grumbler! I feel like I just need to trust that the Lord has my best interests at heart and trust His provision for me.So, for me, it is a decision by decision thing . . . there is no actual 7th day. It is more of a decision by decision thing . . . relying on God in each . . . AND DEFINITELY SPENDING TIME IN HIS WORD!So, see . . . a bit more personal here . . . you may get more of this in the days to come . . . well see.

Exodus 15

Friday, March 16, 2007, 8:01:09 AM

Always Faithful . . . AlwaysDo you know what? God is Faithful! He is faithful Always! Even when we see ABSOLUTELY no way out of a situation!! Isn't that crazy!! It really does seem hard to imagine, but it is so true.Not only do we get to see God's faithfulness in our lives, but we also have a history of his faithfulness provided for us in His Word.Chapter 15 recounts a beautiful picture of God's faithfulness. It begins with a beatifull song where the Israelites praise God's faithfulness for allowing them to cross through the Red Sea. The song also praises God for the way He will continue to lead them in the future through future trails. With the song they choose to live in expectation of God's faithfulness. (they may later waver in this!!) This made me think about how important that is . . . to live with that choice, "I expect God to be faithful." We cannot predict what his faithfulness will look like, we cannot choose how He will be faithfull, but we CAN count that He will be! That my friends is GREAT NEWS!! Great great news!!At the end of the chapter . . . the Israelites begin to display impatience in God's faithfulness. As they approach Marah they thirty, but cannot drink the waters there because they are BITTER. The Israelites become frustrated, but Moses responds by CRYING out to the Lord. The Lord provides a piece of wood that turns the water into sweet drinking water. Again the Lord has been faithful to the Israelites to provide for all of their needs. Yep, all of them.

No Chapter Here

Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 12:32:07 AM

Yep, this entry isn't dated by a chapter . . . I'd love to encourage you to read chapter 13 about the Passover . . . it is great . . . but I am not going to write about it today.So today, I took about three hours just to process where I am with the Lord and where I want to go. Just to pray through what He is doing in my life and to meditate on scripture. Honestly 3 hours was not long enough. I want to encourage all of you to do this. There really is something freeing about it. I had a slight plan for my time, but I also wanted to leave plenty of flex time just to see what the Lord wanted to do with the time and in my heart. One of the things that I was thinking about, but didn't really process during my time has to do with this verse:Colossians 2:10And you are complete through your union with Christ. He is the Lord over every rule and authority in the universe. I cannot share all the details of the case on this entry, but I had report a case to CPS on Friday . . . it was so hard for me to just put it in their hands. Like once I told them the story . . . I no longer had control. All I could do is tell the story as accurately as I could and leave the rest up to them. When I was reading the above verse in Colossians today it made me think about this truth. That the Lord is in control of the authority of the CPS. That I have to just lay this situation and future situations and the Lord's feet. I just have to give them to Him- b/c he is in control of any and all authority. I know that counseling is what God has created me to do in some fashion, but it is HARD . . . especially when you are dealing with folks that don't even really want to be counseled. There is a learning curve here in knowing how to deal with all of this emotionally. I'm on the curve. :)

Exodus 4

Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 12:03:13 AM

Exodus 4At the beginning of chapter 4 Moses is deeply concerned with whether or not he will be listened to by Pharaoh and the Egyptians. He is feeling scared and inadequate . . but God surely gives him what he needs in order to be prepared for the situation. The Lord gives Moses a staff as evidence that He has indeed appeared to Moses. This made me think . . . what evidence my life shows that He has indeed appeared to me? Can people look to me and see evidence of my Savior?While God has not given me anything physical like a staff as evidence of his appearance to me . . . of my faith in Him. . .there should be evidence in the condition of my heart. Then, this evidence in the condition of my heart should affect the way that I live my life. So the question is . . . where does my life show evidence of Him and where do I still desperately need Him? It feels sometimes as if I need so much more of Him in so many areas of my life. I still want to grow and to change and to become more like Him, but I’m not there yet. . . guess that doesn't come until glorification.Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” So until that day comes, just keep on keeping on. Keep on pursing the Lord with all your heart. Be dilligent in your walk. Seek to discover the ways in which your life is not pleasing to him and to pursue the Lord deeply in those areas.

Genesis 48

Saturday, February 24, 2007, 10:14:04 AM

It is His!As I was reading today's chapter, Genesis 48, I was struck by Joseph's view of his sons. Genesis 48:8-9 says, "Then Jacob looked over at the two boys. “Are these your sons?” he asked. “Yes,” Joseph told him, “these are the sons God has given me here in Egypt.” Joseph knows that the blessing of his sons comes only from the Lord. He does not take credit for what God has done and what God has given him. This made me think, "Am I consistenly doing this . . . in all my decisions? Would I have resonded in the way Joseph did?" Congitively, I know that all that I have is from Him, but do I consider that in all my decions, actions, and responses? James 1:17, says "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." In this verse, I think that the emphsis of this verse is on "every". Everything that I have is from Him and it is His. Living in light of this should should affect the way I DO LIFE . . . the way I use my resources . . . including things like money and time.What a blessing to know that I can know that not only is EVERYTHING I have from Him, but he has given me EVERYTHING that I need. 2 Peter 1:3 says, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." He provides all that I need, spiritually, emotinally, and physically.Today this makes me think about counseling people. My counseling supervisor asked me yesterday, "What made you want to go into counseling?". All, that I could say was . . . "it is the only thing that has ever made sense for me." I have always enjoyed just talking to people and helping them sort through stuff . . . it is the way that God has wired me. My desire and my wiring to counsel is from Him. Any success that I have in this area is His. I can also rest in the fact that while I do not have all the answers for everyone, . . . He will give me all that I need in order to counsel in the way that He wants me too. My supervisor also asked me yesterday . . . what is the one client that will be really hard for you (a cutter, someone who is bipolor, etc.)? While I have no experience with these situations . . . well most things at this point . . . I can rest in the fact that He is going to give my what I need. I do not have to live in fear.

Genesis 44

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 8:02:32 AM

Thanks Judah! Thanks for stepping forward in today's passage. Jacob has asked you to protect your younger brother and you are not willing to let go of that promise. You care about the promises that you make to PEOPLE and you are HONORING your father. That is to be admired. You are a leader among your brothers.I am thankful for the way you have shared the TRUTH in your talk with Joseph. You have not sought to come up with excuses or make bargains, but you have just put the plain truth on the table. I see real repentance in your heart here; it is an example.You are gracious and loving in your speech, yet you talk with convition about what is true. Thank you for your example.

Genesis 41

Monday, February 19, 2007, 6:32:56 PM

It’s Beyond Me“It is beyond my power to do this,” Joseph replied. “But God will tell you what it means and will set you at ease.”I was so encouraged when reading this. I love Joseph’s response here. He is not looking for others to see him in some position of authority or some position of ability, but he is looking to point others to God.While this passage is concerning dream interpretation, I think it has a lot to do with the counseling realm. Just knowing that it is beyond my power to really “interpret” or fix anyone. I cannot do that. As a vessel of God, I DESIRE to be used by Him, but it will not be me because it is “beyond my power”. I will only be able to point others to God and to love them through my relationship with God.Since Joseph is relying on God here . . . then he will be able to complete the task at hand. He is going to have enough strength to get through in the way that God desires. If he were instead relying on his own resources, then they would run out and he would crash and burn very shortly.

Genesis 39

Friday, February 16, 2007, 1:17:40 AM

Joseph's character is displayed in Genesis 39. We see his unwavering character. Joseph is propositioned by Potiphar's wife OVER and OVER, but in verse 39:9b Joseph says, "How could I ever do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God." Joseph is concerned not with himself, but in living his life in a way that will honor the one true God.He intentionally resists sin. This got me thinking.

Genesis 35

Saturday, February 10, 2007, 10:45:07 AM

Cleaning House!Do you ever just get that urge to clean everything? Like all at once everything needs to be clean . . . your car, your closet, your kitchen? I do quite often in fact. Right now those urges often come during the midst of times when I have a lot of studying to do. There is something refreshing about having everything cleaned out. It's strange . . . I almost feel like I can focus better when my room is clean. It is like there are less distractions around. When things are a mess I tend to go study somewhere else. When I things are clean, I can focus solely on my task at hand . . . studying. It's no wonder that Jacob said to his household in Genesis 35:2 to clean get rid of all of their foreign Gods. These foreign gods were distracting them from the ONE TRUE GOD. They were losing their focus. He says, "Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes." Jacob is calling his household to clean not only house but to clean themselves. To rid themselves of the past symbols of foreign gods. He is asking them to take a dramatic step to move forward. They followed faithfully and "they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak at Shechem". Whtat are you holding onto today that is keeping you from focusing on your one true God? What is your "foriegn God", your idol? This is what I'll be chewing on today!

Genesis 32-33

Wednesday, February 07, 2007, 11:28:55 PM

PRAY, PROMISE, PREPAREOn the Road to meet Esau, Jacob is well PREPARED. He is spirituall, mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared. He knows that Esau is brining 400 men with him, and he believes that Esau will not be a happy brother.In chapter 32 Jacob prayed in verse 11, “Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me” and in verse 12 he remembers the promise God made to prosper Jacob through his descendants. Jacob PRAYS and rests on the PROMISE that God made.Directly after praying and resting on God’s promise to him, he PREPARES. He selects a gift for Esau and he instructs his servants on how to approach Esau. He makes care ful plans and perparations.Jacob has PRAYED, remembered God’s PROMISES to him, and sought PREPARATION in order to meet his brother.So what was the result!! Get excited because it is good stuff!As Esau approaches Jacob with his 400 men, Jacob has his well prepared “crew” with him too. He has his family and a prepared gift of rams, camels, cows, and donkeys that he set aside for his brother. As he approaches he Esau, he is accepted with Love and Grace!This is no special formula. This is not the P’s to a Godly life or to Grace, but wow!- it is amazing to see Jacob’s dependence on God and how he does not just go blindly into a tricky decision. He is well prepared. He has sought the Lord. I have one of my first “official” counseling sessions EVER today. Ya, I know kinda scary. I know that God is leading me into the field of counseling, but just winging it will not cut it. I need to be well prepared! I need to know my stuff and seek God’s promises through prayer throughout the day.

Genesis 30

Sunday, February 04, 2007, 9:07:58 AM

Gosh!! After reading this chapter . . . I'm just tired. I mean I feel like I just read a war! Leah and Rachel really got after it. They went back and forth having babies either by their own bodies or with their maidservants. It seems as though envy is rulling their hearts. They must really be abnormal because of their struggle with envy? Right?Oh . . . so far from wrong. You can totally love the Lord and really desire to serve Him and still struggle with envy. I'll be honest, I'm a girl that loves to shop. I know I know that's strange and not cliche or anything. I'm really good at shopping wisely. I love finding deals and shopping at places no one else knows about. If I am really honest though . . . I know there are times when I am envious of girls that aren't in school and working part time. They can afford to spend at least a little more on clothes (or at least I think they can . . . I could be wrong). There are moments when they may not even know about it, but I'm in a Leah/Rebecca war with them . . . but it is over clothes not babies. Yuck . . . this isn't pretty. God I pray that you would tame the desires that I have to look a certain way and that my desire would instead be to please you fully.

Genesis 23

Sunday, February 04, 2007, 8:49:28 AM

Genesis 23:4-56“I am an alien and a stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial sit her so I can bury my dead. The Hittites replies to Abraham, Sir, listen to us. You are a mighty prince among us. Bury your dead in the choices of our tombs. None of us will refuse you his tomb for burying your dead.” Genesis 23 captures the death of Sarah, Abraham’s wife. She lived to be 127 years old. The text says that Abraham mourned and wept for her then sought out a site to bury her. Abraham has found favor with the Hittites because they offer to give him any burial site that would be fitting for her. Reading this verse has reminded me to seek favor with those that I am in contact with. Not for my own gain. Not so that I’ll get the best burial ground or tickets to the latest concert, but so that I will have ground to talk about my faith in Christ. I pray that at City House that I will find favor with the staff and other practicum students. I pray that this favor will lead to relationships with you.

Genesis 22

Sunday, February 04, 2007, 8:47:39 AM

I keep learning over and over right now how God brings blessing through obedinece. Here it is again in Genesis 22:17-17Genesis 22:16-17“This is what the LORD says: Because you have obeyed me and have not withheld even your beloved son, I swear by my own self that I will bless you richly I will multiply your descendants into countless millions, like the stars of the sky and the sand on the seashore.”Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice Isaac is another demonstration of his obedience. Here we see a demonstration of blessing following obedience. God honors obedience through

Genesis 15

Wednesday, January 17, 2007, 9:13:27 AM

I'm struck by a lot of things in this passage. Abram's quick response of faith to the Lord, God's faithfulness to Abram, and the creativity of God in His illustration to Abram.God doesn't just tell Abram that he will have many descendants, but he also illustrates it to him. God wants to be sure that Abram understands what he is telling him. God takes Abram outside and asks him to look up to heavens. He tells him that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars in the sky. God uses his own creation to illustrate to Abram what he is communicating to him. What a creative God! God is not just interested in spilling out some information that will roll off Abram's brain, but he is interested in really communicating to Abram.In reading this, I am reminded that God has done this for me. He has given me visual representations of what He is doing in my life. Typically he has done this through his people. God has illustrated His Word to me through other believers who know Him and His word. He beautifully orchestrates all of our lives in order that we will better understand Him and His ways.

Genesis 13

Monday, January 15, 2007, 9:35:25 AM

After reading this text; I am struck mostly by verses 8-9. I cannot help but be impressed by Abraham's ability to peacefully step into conflict. Abram steps into the conflict to arrive at peace, not to win. Abram doesn't seek to gain from the conflict or to win the best land, but he seeks unity. I am amazed by how much he is willing to give up his own needs and desires. His desire is unity between him and his nephew Lot.In verse 8, he say, "This arguing has got to stop." What an amazing thing for a man to do-- he did not let his emotions or his anger controll him. He simply saw the heart of the matter and adressed it. Last night, I got into an argument with my brother. We were arguing over something very significant . . . what to have for dinner. My brother was not excited about the Chinese takeout that we were going to have for dinner. In my heart, I so desired unity, but I was unwilling to be as humble and as unemotional as Abram was in this passage. I instead engaged in the conflict . . . letting my brother know that I think that he is a picky eater. Processing that now . . . what a lousy way to try to dissipate the conflict. What good did that comment have? None. I was seeking my own gain. I was unwilling to give up what I wanted . . . "the good land". What a lesson I can learn from Abram here. . . resolve the conflict and be willing to let go of your own desires. Don't seek selfish gain.Time to ask for my brother's forgiveness . . .

Genesis 10

Thursday, January 11, 2007, 9:16:38 AM

By the way if you are reading my journal . . . great . . . but also be sure to take a look at jointhejourney.com for devotional readings on each chapter. I write that because I was struck today by one of the questions that today's jouney writer wrote. It is as follows: What triggers or obstacles during your daily life seem to get you off track or turn your search for strength inward?What is it that gets me off track daily? What causes me to be someone that wouldn't have a legacy of Faith written behind my name?For me this was a great connector to what God is doing in my life. I think one of my biggest struggles recenlty . . . has been a lack of faith that God really does love me, care for me, have my best interests at heart. I struggle because I often decide how my life should look and how every detail should fall into place. Then when God's plans are different, I struggle to find contentment in His plan. I usually want to believe that I don't do this . . . but I know I do.I am not a super detailed person . . . so I can handle little details being different. I can handle changed plans at the last minute (usually), but the struggle comes when relationships of all forms take a differnt course. I struggle to rest in the Lord's plan for me. The thing is though that in my wrestle with being able to realy rest in His plans for me-- he has ALWAYS pulled me closer to Him. There will be days and times when it is harder to understand and Trust. It is worth the fight to rest in the Truth that He is in control of relationships . . . every detail.The good news is that when you trust in the Lord's plans for you . . . how much you are released from this inner struggle and battle. Not having to control it. Just living in abadonment to what He has. All you have to do at this point is to run towards Him. Serve Him and His people. It really makes life more simle. (not easy).What causes you to get off track every day?

Genesis 6

Saturday, January 06, 2007, 10:29:00 AM

What must it have been like to be Noah? I can't imagine being called to a task a big as Noah. He wasn't called to just leave behind some personal belongings, but he was called to leave behind actual people. What a task God gave him. It's amazing when God calls us to tasks that are beyond our expectations . . . how he strongly supports our ways. God made a covenant with Noah (vs. 17) and then asked him to follow. Noah was not without the support of God in his obedience to the request.It's amazing how when we are obedient to what God is asking us to do how he will strongly support our ways. Not when we are obedient to he world . . .or even to what the Christian culture says . . .BUT what to God is truly asking us to do.You say how do we know what God is asking us to do? God isn't making a covenant with me like he make here with Noah? What do I do then? Oh, but He has!!! If you have trusted in Him and have a relationship with him then you have a covenant relationship with Him!!! He has revealed His truth you through His Word. Reading his word, praying his word,